Is there a right way to say thank you?

Hi everyone and happy Monday evening!

I have been fortunate to be taking a professional development course on leadership the past few months and the many facets that go along with being a great leader. Our last session was about motivation in ourselves and others. I wanted to share an aspect of the session on “feedback” that I think was truly beneficial to me, and I hope to use it often in both my personal and professional life. 

Have you received compliments like “you are a rock star!” or “you’re the best!”? Many of us shy away from accepting compliments, and one of the main reasons could be because the feedback wasn’t focused enough for you to believe it. 

Positive feedback should contain 3 components: 

1. Express your gratitude explicitly. 
2. Identify the specific behavior you are grateful for having received.
3. Call out the impact their behavior had to help build feelings of connection.

For example, if I was happy with something my son did for me I could say: 

• Eli, I really appreciate you helping clean up the leaves in the yard. It was a big job and it would have taken a lot longer without your help.  We were able to get it done before the rain because of you. 

I could have simply said, “Eli, you are the best!” Although I’m sure he would have appreciated the compliment, he wouldn’t have realized the impact of his actions and why I was so appreciative. In turn, he will be more likely to take on tasks where he knows he has an impact. 

So my suggestion for you this week is when you are appreciative of something someone has done, use the 3 components above on your recipient. You may or may not see a positive response right away, but I can guarantee it will make a huge difference in the recipient.