Excuses

It’s been a while since I’ve written. You won’t get any excuses from me here. I was in a slump, plain and simple. Life does that to you now and then!

And that brings me to what I want to talk about today: excuses and responsibility. A few days ago, I had to have a discussion with my “big feeling” almost 9-year-old about responsibility and consequences. At his age, the consequences are usually very minor for poor decision making. But, learning how to handle responsibility now can come in handy when the consequences aren’t so minor in the future.

Storytime.

My son’s biggest struggle is forgetfulness. Over the Thanksgiving break, he left a book in his desk at school. It was overdue at the library, so I asked him to make sure he brought it home on Monday when he returned. Monday came, and he forgot. Tuesday came, and he forgot. On Tuesday night, my husband told him that if he forgot again, he would lose his iPad time for the rest of the week. Wednesday, he walked out of school without the book. My husband sent him back in to grab it, shaking his head. When my son got home and discovered that, in fact, his iPad time had been taken away, he was indignant.

“But dad, we are so busy during class, it’s hard to remember everything!”

 “But mom, it’s just a book. It’s not fair!”

 “I don’t understand why you guys are so mad at me just for a book!”

I had to explain to him that we weren’t mad at him at all, but when he knew the consequence of an action and ignored it, then he needed to face it. And also that it was our job as parents to make sure that he was prepared for the next grades where reminders won’t be handed out so easily. We also talked about different techniques on how to remember things, like the dry erase board he has in his locker, or the post-it notes we have on the counter. We’ll see how well the lesson stuck.

As we know, very little in adult life is as simple as a forgotten book. But the lesson is simple; lessons always are. Excuses don’t work.

Making excuses instead of taking one hundred percent responsibility for actions, thoughts, and goals are the hallmark of people who fail to succeed both in their professional lives and personal lives. People who take complete responsibility for their lives experience joy and control of circumstances. They make choices because they understand that they are responsible for their own lives.

No one can live your life for you. No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. Live every day as if what you do matters—because it does. Every choice you make; every action you take—matters. Your choices create the life you live. You matter. And, your thoughts matter, too. When you haven’t made a great choice, have that “parent” conversation with yourself where you say, “I’m not mad at you, but let’s do better next time.”