As we start January, we are always bombarded by ideas of resolutions, diets, workouts, habit-changes, etc. It’s an in-your-face assault to our senses that we need to change, be better, be more. We are challenged to be more productive, with pretty planners, inspiration boards and motivational apps. Frankly, it’s exhausting.
I saw this post the other day from a motivational speaker I follow that was a breath of fresh air.
Now, this is totally against my type-A planner personality that needs to have everything in its place, schedules confirmed, routines followed, and all t’s crossed and i’s dotted. But it was refreshing to hear someone talk about a goal for the new year that actually involved slowing down.
I tried this the other day with my son who was having a rough day. He was tired and overwhelmed from the first day back to school, and instead of insisting that the dishes needed to be done immediately after dinner, a routine I strictly follow, I sat down on the couch and had him read a book to me. It truly did change his whole demeanor for the rest of the night. I sacrificed efficiency for love, and was better off for it.
I know all of the January goals I mentioned above certainly can be worthwhile, and there are so many tools to help us be better, more efficient humans. However, for now, let us take time to pause the doing and actually do the living and loving.
Were you able to add a good “habit” to your routine last week? My goal was to try the drinking water idea to not hit the snooze button and get up a few minutes earlier. Did it work? Nope! What I did do was allow myself some time to rest over the weekend. I call that a small win.
That’s the beauty of being intentional in your life. Just because something doesn’t work right away, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. And, if something isn’t working, you have the power to say “this isn’t for me” and move on to something else. The important part is to be engaged in your decision making, giving yourself grace when you fail (spoiler: you will), and getting back on it when you do.
Marketing companies really want us to think that they have the next big “life-changing” product, and if we don’t use whatever it is they’re selling, we are bound to fail. The truth is, progress is made with small wins, being able to start over, and telling yourself it’s ok if you’re not there yet. Just keep trying until something clicks.
I hope you have a great week…and celebrate the small wins!
I know I’ve talked about this before, but there really is something about this time of year with the lack of daylight that affects my productivity. Side note, did you know that we may be getting rid of “Daylight Savings Time” soon? Here’s more information on the legislation that, if passed, would do this. I’m in full support of this idea…I can’t stand the clock-switching, cranky kids, what time is really business!
As I was sitting on the couch one evening last week scrolling TikTok, much earlier than usual I’ll admit, I came across this short video about habits that really made sense. She talks about several easy techniques to incorporate new habits into your daily routine.
As with any new habit or routine, the most important part is to START! So I challenge you to watch the video (it’s short, I promise), pick one simple habit to incorporate into your daily routine, and pick tomorrow 11/1 as your start date. It’s scary today, but don’t let this challenge scare you tomorrow!
I had a conversation over the weekend about being comfortable in your own skin. It was at a party, and right after having this conversation, I caught myself worrying about how I looked, if I was talking enough, if I was talking too much, did that person like me, are they talking about me, and so on.
The next day, as luck would have it, I read the quote below. It’s something I am going to keep on repeat in my mind until it sinks in. (You think by now I would learn, but this seems to be a hard lesson.) If I accept the things about me that make me uncomfortable or that I might be ashamed of, then no one can say anything that will affect me. For example, if I accept that I tend to be quieter in social situations, then someone saying “You’re so quiet…speak up!” won’t bother me. Yes, yes I am quiet. How does that affect you?
This doesn’t mean you can’t work to enhance your skills or learn more about yourself to be the best version of you. But, if you accept ALL of yourself as you are, who can argue with you? Be unapologetically you!
I spent the weekend up north for a little R & R at our family’s cabin, marveling over the beautiful fall colors. You would think surrounded by so much beauty and stillness, I would have gathered an idea for my Monday motivation post today, right?
Nope. My inspiration came during a Monday afternoon coffee chat. Today everyone seems a little tired and maybe a touch soured over some aspect of their lives right now. A group of colleagues and I were commiserating over various work challenges, and what it boiled down to is “you do what you do, not to change the world, but to impact just one person at a time.”
I’m sure all of you have heard the story of the little kid who throws starfish back in the sea. When approached about how impossible a task it is to save them all, he simply says, “it matters to this one.”
Whatever troubles you are dealing with, a challenging relationship, a work issue that never seems to get addressed, a situation that gives you a headache just thinking about trying to solve, know this: you make a difference. Your attitude, your approach, and your willingness to help may just be what someone needs today.
I don’t know if it’s just me, and I love fall, but as soon as we start losing all of our abundant summer daylight, I just get so tired. At the end of the day, I sometimes find that there is only enough energy to sit on the couch and “rebel” against bedtime. The next day, inevitably, I end up feeling guilty for what didn’t get checked off my to-do list, not having exercised, or projects that remain incomplete. I read this poem the other day that helped give me some perspective on how much we expect of ourselves, our bodies especially. Be kind…to others and yourself. You are amazing!
Just recently, my son’s first grade teacher sent out a video that was shown to the class about “growth mindset.” Can you believe that? First grade and already getting introduced to a concept like that. Of course it was done using a cute cartoon character called “Mojo” and made in an easy to understand way, but I was still impressed.
We have come a long way in discovering more about motivation and how our brain works when it encounters failure and challenges. I wish that I had learned about this concept when I was 6-years-old…it would have helped me understand my fear of failure and perfectionism cycle that I still struggle with today.
For those who might not be familiar, a growth mindset means that you thrive on challenge, don’t see failure as a negative experience, but instead use it as a springboard for growth and developing your abilities. Your intelligence and talents are all susceptible to growth, not fixed.
Here are some ways to develop a growth mindset:
Identify the mindset voice inside of you.
Internal dialogue like “What if I fail?” or “If I don’t try, nobody will see me fail,” means you have a fixed mindset voice. It’s important to listen to your internal mindset voice so you can truly discover what type of mindset you have. This is the first step to successfully changing your mindset.
Recognize that you have a choice.
You understand the mindset voice inside of you is telling you not to try, to protect yourself from failure. The choice is up to you. Will you listen to the voice?
Talk back with a growth mindset voice.
Instead of falling for the fixed mindset voice, talk back to your internal dialogue with a new mindset. Say things like, “I’m not sure I can do it, but it will be worth it to try.” or “If I don’t try at all, it is a failure. There’s no dignity in that.” This new voice will help you drown out the fixed mindset voice that is crowding your thoughts and ambition.
Practice.
Put yourself in situations that are challenging to help you practice your new voice. With new challenges around every corner, there’s many opportunities to thrive from setbacks and trials.
Stop seeking approval of others.
Comparing yourself to others, focusing on how you look to others, and hiding failures are all hindering you from developing a growth mindset, and finding success. Keep focusing on yourself and how you can grow, and stop worrying if others are looking at your progress. Chances are, nobody is.
Replace the word “failing” with “learning.”
As you come to recognize that failing is just a new way of learning, you’ll stop being so afraid of it.
Take growth mindset action.
You need to follow through on the actions your new mindset voice tells you to take on. Sometimes, you may not succeed. But that’s ok. As you practice talking to yourself with a growth mindset, and follow through on the actions, you’ll cultivate the mindset of growth that you desire over time.
I hope this sparks something in you this week where you are able to take a “failure” and reframe it as “learning.”
I saw this cute comic earlier today and it made me smile.
In all seriousness, it made me think about how we are usually our own worst critics. I know I am very guilty of over-analyzing situations both at work and at home. I wonder if I did a good enough job, or if I said the wrong thing, or fixating on a silly mistake I made (that probably only I noticed). Here’s the thing: we are human! No one is perfect, and you are likely doing far better than you think.
Here are some tips to stop being so hard on yourself this week:
Your mistakes are part of your learning. Learn to be resilient in the face of failure.
Don’t compare yourself to others because you aren’t them. You’re you, so accept yourself for who you are, faults and all.
There is no right way to do anything. Don’t limit your thinking to a right or wrong way–there’s no right way to do the wrong thing, and no wrong way to do something right!
Learn from people who criticize you. Don’t let criticism get you down; let it inspire you to work harder! Also realize that their criticism is likely more about them than you.
Look at your past as an adventurous biography. Your past isn’t your identity and doesn’t dictate your future.
Don’t underestimate your talent until you apply it 100 times. Are you applying your natural talents?
Every single problem you have is not unique. Put your problems in perspective and solve them faster.
Intelligence is relative, self-esteem is not. Stay positive, take care of yourself, forget about being perfect, and always keep improving yourself.
Express your anger in a creative way. Feel your anger, express it, and learn from it.
Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed. Having people you can trust and rely on will make you happier and feel better about yourself.
Today I want to share a quote I saw on social media last week about self-deflection and accepting compliments.
I read this, and thought, “Wow I really need to remember that.” Then what did I do? This past weekend, I promptly did the exact opposite. I was at a birthday party and a friend said I looked really good. Instead of just saying thank you, I started to deflect on how I needed to get back on track to lose some weight I put on over the last month with all of the summer parties…you know how the story goes. After the fact, I thought to myself, “Why didn’t I just say thank you?”
So, I want to challenge you, the next time someone compliments you or congratulates you on a great job, just say thank you and smile. Build on that feeling to give you increased confidence and celebrate your successes. Take your flowers and water them too. You deserve it.
How often do you laugh in a day? Has something made you laugh yet today?
Having 2 small kids, I see daily how often they laugh and act silly, my youngest especially. As we get older, something seems to shift and we tend to lose that carefree sense of humor, not laughing as freely or frequently, burdened by the demands of life. This is known as “the humor cliff” and it can have terrible consequences for our personal and professional lives.
I came across this brief 5-minute video about the benefits of bringing laughter back into your professional life as a leader. My favorite quote was: “Humor is an elixir for trust and the antidote to arrogance.”
It’s time to climb back up the humor cliff.
And if you need something to get you started laughing today, here is a throwback video of my oldest in a bit of a laughing fit.
Kate Genord 