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Doesn’t it seem like the weekend went by in a blink? 

Speaking of time, I just finished a book called “In Five Years.” In it, the protagonist is living her life perfectly aligned with her “plan.” After nailing an interview at her dream job and getting engaged, she falls asleep and wakes up in her life five years later and lives there for one hour. Everything is different and completely opposite of where she expects to be. She then wakes up back in her old life, and ultimately we see how the next five years takes her to that jarring moment. Although the premise was pretty far-fetched, it did make me pause. 

How many interviewers have asked you “where do you see yourself in five years?” We usually give the answer of where we want to be, or what we think they want us to say, but the honest truth is: no one really knows. Five years ago, I was in a completely different industry, on the brink of a career change, just about to come to OU. I would have never guessed the paths I would take and the destinations these past five years have taken me to. 

What I want to emphasize is, regardless of where you are now, or where you came from 5 years ago, you are never stuck. It’s never too late to turn around or to turn down a different path. And if you love the path you are on, don’t blink! Be present in as many moments as possible, because one day you may wake up thinking you lived in your future for an hour, when in reality it’s been five years. 

Have a great week!

Hi and happy Monday afternoon!

This weekend was so nice, wasn’t it? I spent the majority of Saturday and Sunday at my son’s little league playoff tournament. They won! This is my first real experience with sharing the tension of being a sports parent. It was so nerve wracking, and I felt so proud of all of the kids for their effort. My son was struggling a bit in the last game, and after the celebration was over, he was getting down on himself for all the things he couldn’t do or did wrong. There are two main lessons I told him I wanted him to learn: 

1. You are a part of a team and their success is your success. A team supports and holds up those who are struggling. I reminded him to try to remember that the times he is doing well and someone else is struggling. To be their support, as they supported him. 

2. Focus on the things you ARE and not the things you are NOT. 

Who hasn’t struggled with that last one? So that’s my challenge to you this week. If you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, or just getting down on what you think you should be, focus on what you ARE. If you are having trouble listing things, email or text a close friend and ask them. They will be sure to pick up and support you!

Have a great week!

Hi All! 

I know I have been MIA these last few weeks between vacations and the holiday. I hope everyone is well and having a great start to their summer! 

Having school-aged children, I am starting to get into the years of explaining how friendships work, how to navigate when someone isn’t nice to you, and how to include people when you see they are left out. My 9-year-old is in the thick of this right now and I am learning just as much as he is about communication, conflict, and boundaries.

I’d like to share a story I read about friendship that touched me (that I also shared with him). It reminded me that at times we are like the “new kid” regardless of our age. Sometimes we are waiting for someone to say “wanna be friends?” Sometimes we are the person who needs to reach out and say it. This introvert knows it’s hard to put yourself out there, and adult friendships seem more complicated than children’s, but they really aren’t. They all have one thing in common: kindness and intention. Your actions can have an impact that ripples further than you ever know. 

Here’s the story…

************

Our grandson has a super power. It’s friendship. He loves everyone. 2 months ago, he arrived at school with his dad and spotted a new kid. He ran up to him and said, “Hey! Are you new? Wanna’ be friends.”

He put his arm around him and led the way to the playground.

My son-in-law noticed a mom with tears, taking a picture. He introduced himself and the mom said she had been worried about her son’s first day.

“Did you just move here?” My son in law asked.

“Yes.”

“Where did you come from?”

“Ukraine,” she said.

She, her son and mother managed to flee the Ukraine but the men did not leave. She has a relative in the US who was able to get them on a flight and now they were all together in a one bedroom apartment.

The next morning the two buddies were arm in arm again, off to the playground while our daughter introduced herself to the mom. That week she initiated some donations: a wagon for walking trips to the grocery store, a gift certificate at a local store, and clothes, including 3 pairs of swim trunks. The mom looked confused and said she didn’t think he’d need swim trunks.

My daughter said to keep them. You never know. Then she asked if there was anything the mom needed.

“There is one thing,” the mom said. “My son says the children have a box. They open the box and there is food inside. I don’t know what this is or how to get one.”

My daughter smiled. “He needs a lunch box. I’ll get him one. And let me pack his lunch for you.”

A note was posted on the neighborhood loop and someone donated (donated!) housing through the summer for this family.

Oh. And guess what? The house has a pool.

Our world groans under the weight and pain of so much injustice, violence, destruction, loss. We all feel it.

Then a kindergartner who loves big says, “Hey, wanna’ be friends?”

And hope comes bursting in and radiates its golden light.

May we all learn to love big.

Hi everyone and happy Monday!

Over the weekend, I saw this video that I am going to keep in heavy rotation in my saved “motivation files.” It’s less than a minute, so go watch it, volume on, and then read the sentence below. 

Did you watch it? Maybe watch it again

Now read this: 

I have no authority over how other people view me. 

I have been a “people pleaser” my whole life. I never could quite understand why certain people didn’t like me, no matter how hard I tried. I have learned, through heartache and disappointment, that it’s not about me. It’s about them. 

So love yourself. Be yourself. Be the hero in your own life. 

Have a great week!

Kate

Hi all and happy Monday!

Some of you may know that in March I started training with a group on campus for the “Couch to 5K” program. It’s an 8-week course that trains you 3 days a week with the goal of being able to “run” a 5K at the end. I was doing great and meeting all my marks…until last week. I missed every run last week because of conflicting meetings, bad weather and my boys’ baseball practices. Add on a day of indulging in Easter dinner, drinks and desserts, and I really was about to throw in the towel.  

I thought to myself last night, “Well, I really messed that up. I don’t know if it’s worth it to continue now.” 

How many times do we start a diet, a workout plan, a book, a hobby, a project, get off track, and completely throw it all away just because we feel we failed and can’t start over? 

I want you to think about your friends, family, and loved ones. If one of them messed up or let you down, would you give up on them after they apologized? No, you would give them grace, because we are humans and mess up all the time. Now I want you to think about yourself. Is there a goal you’ve been reaching for that you have given up because you “messed it up” in the past? Give yourself some grace and re-frame your mind into thinking that it’s not starting over, it’s beginning where you left off. 

I’m happy to report that last night I still packed my gym bag, and today I ran the track. 

Hello and happy Tuesday!

As I was about to crawl into bed, I realized that I never finished my Monday motivation email. Part of me wanted to go to my laptop, dive into my drafts and just get it done. But, I have learned that one of my “self-care” needs is a good amount of sleep. So I pulled the covers up and put that little “1” next to the Drafts category out of mind for the moment. 

What is it about self-care that is so buzz-worthy these days? I think it’s great that people are more aware of taking time for themselves, but I feel like self-care, especially for women, is always equated to a bubble bath with candles. Sure, for some, this might be great, but I feel like in many cases this would just be a bandaid on a bullet wound. If my husband told me to take 15 minutes for a bath, I’d probably look like the photo below, thinking of everything that needs to be done, while I hear the boys destroying the basement or fighting. Not exactly relaxing. 

Self-care can look so very different for each person. For me, it’s making sure that everything is in order the night before so that my mornings are less stressful. It’s listening to my audiobook on my commute home and giving my brain a break before I come home to my family. It’s separating myself from noise and people when I feel like I’ve been overstimulated. It’s going to the movies or the coffee shop alone or with one trusted friend. (Can you tell I’m an INFJ personality?)

Self-care is a way to look out for yourself so you feel better and have a chance to recharge.You’re taking time to set yourself up for success and to feel good, and that’s what it’s all about. There’s no one right way to practice self-care, but there definitely are wrong ways. If you are doing things you think people are “supposed” to do as part of a self-care routine (AKA bubble bath), but it actually feels unproductive or even stressful to you, cut it out! Do what feels good, restorative, and manageable for you.

And if you haven’t figured out what your best self-care really is, that’s ok. Sometimes it just feels like another task on an always growing to-do list. It can be trial and error. I personally recommend you just start with sleep. 🙂 

Hi All and happy Monday!

I saw the graphic below yesterday, and after spending the weekend trying to entertain my bored kids who didn’t want to get cold outside, feed them (do they ever stop eating?), and tackle the last of the boxes needing to be unpacked, it definitely struck a chord with me. 

As a wife, a mom, working professional, daughter, friend, community member, I have always prided myself in being the consummate “multi-tasker.” I’ve had it on my resume and cover letter for years as a selling point. To have that thought challenged, was a bit threatening to my character. But, when I think about attention, this makes a great deal of sense. 

My challenge for myself this week is to give people and projects more of my undivided attention. I’m not going to stop in the middle of a project to answer that email. I’m going to put my phone far away from me while reading to my kids. I’m going to try to set time with each of my kids separately where the other one can’t interrupt; and the same idea for my husband. I am going to complete one task before moving to the next. 

What are your thoughts on this? Have we been led to believe that multitasking is a beneficial skill, when all along it’s really a detriment to our productivity? I’m still skeptical, but I’m willing to try. 

Have a productive week! 

On Sunday (and many other days over the last few weeks) I spent the majority of the day unpacking boxes, sorting, and placing items back into our house. We will be officially moved in on Friday, and while I am very excited, I’ll be honest and say I have mixed feelings since so much work still needs to be done. 

As I was unpacking and assessing, I could not believe the amount of “stuff” we have. I thought I was pretty good at sorting and purging regularly. As I looked at all of the boxes and the bulging garbage bags full of items I decided we no longer needed, I wondered how I could ever let my life get so bogged down with “stuff.” It was eye-opening, overwhelming, yet also an opportunity for a clean start. Nothing is coming back into my house unless I put it there, knowing I will use it. 

This also made me think about our minds. How much “stuff” do we allow to accumulate in our brains? When we clutter our lives with imagined obligations, unnecessary activities, and distractions that only kill time, we dilute our power. When we clear out space in our brain and eliminate all of the unnecessary noise, we can think clearly and hear our true thoughts. We have space to reflect, to learn, and to simplify. 

Do you have breathing room in your brain? If not, it may be time to break out the broom! 

Hi everyone! I read an article I wanted to share because it was very helpful to me. If you are an overthinker, I hope you take some time to read through these tips to help you from spiraling. It’s a bit long, but I hope you can come back to this and re-read as your week allows to fully let each tip sink in. 

Have a great week!

Kate

8 Things Every Overthinker Needs to Know

1. THE PROBLEM IS RARELY THE PROBLEM.

99% of the harm is caused in your head, by you and your thoughts. 1% of the harm is caused by reality, what actually happens and the outcome. Mostly, the problem isn’t the problem, but the way you think about the problem is!

2. HEALTH STARTS IN YOUR MIND!

You can go to the gym, eat healthy, do yoga, drink water and take vitamins, but if you don’t directly confront the negativity in your thoughts, you’ll never truly be “healthy.” In fact true health is measured by the quality of our thoughts and the peacefulness of our mind.

Health starts in your mind!

3. FACT CHECK YOUR OWN THOUGHTS!

Your thoughts will create scenarios in your mind that reflect your insecurities, fears and worries.

So it’s important to always fast-check your own thoughts before accepting them, because in highly emotional situations, your thoughts will tell you stories that aren’t true! FACT-CHECK YOURSELF!

4. SILENCE AND TIME!

The truth is that most problems aren’t solved with more thinking, they’re solved with less. You’ll find most of the answers you’re looking for in silence, in time and with a clear mind.

If you can’t solve a problem, STOP trying to!

5. AVOID SELF-REJECTION

Don’t think you deserve that opportunity? APPLY FOR IT ANYWAYS!

Don’t think your article is good enough? POST/PUBLISH IT ANYWAYS!

Don’t think they’ll reply to your email or message? SEND IT ANYWAYS!

Never overthink yourself into self-rejection! 

6. ACCEPTANCE IS PEACE

No amount of anxiety will change your future, no amount of regret will change your past.

Peace is found in acceptance:

• Accept Imperfection
• Accept Uncertainty
• Accept the Uncontrollable

You don’t have to understand, tolerate or even forget something, but if you want peace, you must accept it.

7. THE POWER OF ‘NOW’ 

You’re not going to overthink your way to a better future! 

You’re not going to overthink your way to a better past!

All you have is NOW! And what you do with NOW can make right of your past and make good of your future. So, make peace with yesterday, let go of tomorrow, grab hold of NOW!

8. AN IMPORTANT QUESTION

When you start criticising yourself for past mistakes or seeing disaster around every corner, ask yourself: Is there anything I can do right now to change the past or to positively influence the future? 

If the answer is yes, do it – TAKE ACTION! 

If the answer is No, be at peace – LET IT GO! 

You have to take action or let go, everything else is self-harm!

That’s it!

Yesterday, my 5 year-old son sang with his choir in church, and the name of the song was “I Am Unique.”  Imagine the cuteness of 25 kindergartners belting out that phrase. It was beyond sweet. 

Later in the day, I was thinking about how as kids get older, being different somehow becomes the thing to avoid. As pre-teens and teens, we yearn to be a part of the crowd and “fit in.” Kids value sameness because they haven’t fully developed the ability to navigate complex social relationships. They believe that their circle is stronger if their friends are similar (when it’s truly quite the opposite). Plus, the process of figuring out how we fit into the world makes us understandably insecure. One way to deflect insecurity is to point out others’ differences to shift attention from our own, of course. 

As adults, it’s hard to grow out of that ingrained mentality. But this is hugely important to recognize. After all, what defines every big idea? A spirit of innovation. And what lies at the heart of inventive thinking? A knack for seeing the world in a way no one else does. Difference is the quality that sets you apart on first dates and job interviews. Embracing your uniqueness helps you become the you-est version of you, and there is NO ONE exactly like you. 

So let us all belt out “I AM UNIQUE” with the enthusiasm of a kindergartner, and know that we are capable of unimaginable things when we allow ourselves to truly believe we are one-of-a-kind.